Ruxpin's Plight
Originally published Tuesday March, 29th 2005
The Axis of Stevil stands for many things, but what does The Axis stand against?
In early 1985, Ken Forsse on a wilderness expedition in the Yukon stumbled upon a secret valley nestled within a volcanic crater. The sub terrain lava flows made the ecosystem of the valley a lush tropical rain forest. Forsse discovered in this forest a race of advance bear pygmies who called themselves the Ruxpinanda. Kind and peace loving, the Ruxpinanda took Forsse into their society and taught him their ways. The Ruxpinanda, as Forsse later remarked,
“Were gifted and accomplished storytellers they would regal me for hours around the Cassetteowna [ed. Ruxpinanda for fire pit]”.
In 1987 Forsse emerged from the Yukon leading a small troop of Ruxpinandan men who wished to see the outside world.
While in the wild, Forsse had sent only one communication, a short letter to his financial backers at K B Toys. The contents of the letter have not been made public, but Forsse and his expedition were met at the British Columbia border by several men dressed in suits, and the US 1st Infantry Division. The Ruxpinanda were quickly captured and sent to a military facility in Groom Lake for study. The US and Canadians governments met secretly and decided that the “Fur menace” should never stretch below the 60 degrees North.
The Ruxpinanda valley was invaded and its peaceful inhabitants were rounded up and put into a series of slave interment camps.
While all this was happening, a toy bearing the Ruxpinanda’s likeness sold like hot cakes during the ‘88 holiday season. While both US and Canadian governments deny these allegations. The Axis of Stevil is aware of the Ruxpin’s plight. Refusing to allow this injustice to continue any longer The Axis of Stevil bankrolls a team of elite ninjas whose sole task is to protect and free all of the Ruxpins.
Contributors: Graham (Featured image), Stevil (Copywriting), Graham (Copywriting)
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